50: Permission to not have it figured out with Kate Johnson
Sometimes in life, we can get a bit paralysed from making a decision out of the fear of getting it wrong. In this episode, I chat with Kate Johnson and what her version of this used to look like and what she did about it.
We also chatted about her old perfectionist and fixer parts like to jump in on the act with the best of intentions.
Kate has a number of really practical examples of how she has found new ways to hang with these old parts.
What we talked about in this episode:
The four types of "FRACing" (fixing, rescuing, advice-giving, caretaking) and which one shows up most for Kate.
What she got from being the fixer in her relationships and what it quietly cost her.
Learning to listen instead of solve and the difference it made to her friendships.
Giving her own kids permission to make decisions and change their minds, versus how she was raised.
Quitting drinking nine years ago and what surfaced once the numbing stopped.
Chronic pain, surgery recovery and how cutting off physical sensation bled into cutting off feelings generally.
Anxiety and excitement feeling almost identical in her body and how she's learned to tell them apart.
What it's felt like to have capacity again after years of running on empty.
Making peace with the parts of herself that used to run the show, without needing to fight them.
If you have ever felt like you needed to get all your life ducks in a row, this episodes is a great example of what life looks like when you let go of needing things to be perfect.
